Comfort in the body i have….

For some reason, fat sex seems to be the most threatening topic ever for a whole lot of people. Fat sex gets fetishized and turned into a taboo topic. I’m taboo???

If you cannot be naked with yourself, it is probably going to be really hard to be naked with other people. It is totally okay to need to dip your toe into nakedness a little bit, but being comfortable enough to take off the T-shirt is going to improve your sex life. And not just because the T-shirt will be out of the way but because it’s easier to have a good time when you feel comfortable.

Hang out in your living room naked (if you are able). Try sleeping naked(which i always do! Clean in the nude — wear some red lipstick while you are at it. Get comfortable with the way your body moves and shifts.

If you don’t like something, tell your partner. The goal is for you both to have a good time; you are not just there to serve as a tool for them to get off. (Again, unless you’re into that sort of thing. Hey, it can be fun.) But the more ashamed we are to say we like certain things, the less likely we are to be in control of our own consensual sexual experiences.

And just talking about sex really can be kind of sexy. It builds the anticipation!

Now lets get busy. If you’re feeling shaky about how a certain position would look to an outsider, remember that you are not performing for an audience (unless you actually happen to be doing so). How it looks doesn’t actually matter — because sex often looks ridiculous as hell. What matters is how it feels to you and your partner. And as long as both of you are feeling good, it really shouldn’t matter if an observer would find it sexy.

I’m a big believer in the idea that I won’t know if I like something unless I’ve tried it a couple of times. Some of the most fun I’ve ever had has involved trying something I wasn’t 100% convinced I was going to enjoy. You’ve got to try it with a partner or partners you trust, but ideally you aren’t fucking anyone who won’t stop if you change your mind about something anyway.

Taboo, I think not


7 thoughts on “Comfort in the body i have….

  1. This article is very good. The other fact I’ve noticed is about meeting someone and being nervous about then getting naked in front of them due to your curves. As I always say, if you’ve got that far, your curves aren’t an unexpected surprise (but an anticipated pleasure πŸ˜‰ )


  2. People are so afraid to venture out of their shells if things aren’t perceived to be ” normal ” to them. It just boggles me how judgemental people are when it comes people’s bodies. What matters most is the person on the inside, a sexy and warm person on the outside is an added bonus.

    Keep doing as you do, Ms Raven. You are far ahead of the curve on everyone else when it comes being comfortable in your own skin.

    Thanks for the wonderful blog post again. Looking forward to more of your musings. Have a fab Monday xx


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